A Parent's Inheritance

 A few weeks ago, in the midst of a week full of exams, grad school hunting, and job interviews, I was blessed with a pleasant little escape to visit friends out of town. The evening was full of rich fellowship and there was a free-flow of wisdom offered from one life stage to another. At dinner, the conversation moved toward culture and how God's intended role of the family has been twisted over time. 

Although we read in God's Word that parents are supposed to be the ones discipling their children, having the embarrassing and hard conversations with them, and equipping them to fight sin, kids and teens now spend the majority of time with their friends and very little quality time with their families.

So what does this mean for us? -that our peers, although they have only been through the same life stages that we have been through, are the ones educating us about and guiding us through life... and that there are very important relationships missing that we were intended to enjoy, leaving us with huge, gaping voids.

In deep reflection at this thought, I realized that this actually wasn't true for me growing up. I admitted that I was that "weird kid" that actually wanted to spend Friday nights with my parents in high school.

While I always knew that this was looked down upon or at least viewed as a little strange in the eyes of most of my peers, this conversation led me to realize that I had been given a HUGE blessing growing up... a blessing that perhaps most of those peers now envy: parents who cared for and invested in me.

When my heart was broken, I didn't pick up the phone and three-way my girlfriends for advice because my mom spent enough time with me to see my pain before I ever spoke of it. I was blessed with her comfort and wise insight that was refined through years of walking with her Shepherd.

Just yesterday, I was delighted to spend the whole day with my dad running, working, and just...talking. I praise God that even though we are both stubborn and don't see eye to eye on everything, we have had enough conversations that make us comfortable enough to discuss the truths of our God and rejoice in them. 


^"My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck."
-Proverbs 1:8-9 


Growing up, our family's idea of the perfect Honeycutt date began with Wendy's kid's meals and ended all piled up on a big pallet in the living room watching TGIF, with lots of conversation and giggles mixed in. We couldn't afford trips across the world- or heck, even across the country, but we loved our $1.50 pet hermit crabs at Myrtle Beach and wouldn't trade late night swims in the little pool near our condo for the world. To us, naps were not spent on elegant, spacious sofas, but they were seldom taken without the snuggling comfort of another. My mom couldn't afford to buy everything organic at the grocery store when we were children, but food that you have to labor for all summer in family gardens are pleasing to the taste.

I'm not trying to imply that we had to do without or that we were in any way deprived; in fact, I'm trying to imply the opposite. Instead of being given extravagant things growing up, my brother, sister, and I were given extravagant love, attention, and time. My mom chose to spend a chunk of our childhood without work so that her arms would be the ones holding us up when we fell and her words would be the ones filling our ears when we wanted to know things about ourselves, the world, and God.

Be careful, brothers and sister, for this snare of the devil: the lie that your children need your money more than they need your time.

I know that I'm still "green behind the ears" and haven't really been through the rough of adult life yet, but hear me out... because after all, God does call it a "childlike" faith, right?

Let's say that you and your spouse sacrifice for your family and work 40-50 hours per week at jobs that turn your lives into one big cycle of robotic living so that you can retire when your children are grown with kids of their own and you can bestow upon them a million dollar inheritance. Where will that money be three generations from now, and is it really worth it? Let's say that somehow, in the best possible case scenario, that it miraculously lasts through every single generation of your family until the return of Christ. What then? -It becomes worthless.

A mailman and a teacher probably aren't going to leave me enough wealth to have plush pillow cushions or Egyptian silk curtains, but they have been used by God to lead me to the mysterious treasure chest that I will always draw from. Instead of teaching me to trust in their provision, they have taught me of the eternal riches that are guaranteed to be mine because I am a child of God. Sure, I won't be able to cash in for my full inheritance while I'm here, but when Christ does come back, I will have the fullness of everything that I could ever want... and the riches that I enjoy along the way can be enjoyed and carried into every single generation from here on out. 

On my way home that night, I smiled with a breath of relief... suddenly, those interviews and exams weren't nearly as important as I had made them out to be. What will I do with my life? Walk with God.

Now, I realize that times are hard and culture changes everything. Some families really do need both parents working in order to provide for the family. Everyone is not entitled to their dream job with dream hours, and the Bible does speak of the fruit that comes from a working man's hands. My argument is to simply be aware of this stealthy enemy and his never-ending war on families.

What can you do to prepare for battle? 

Take a look at your life. What are the things that have come to serve as a barrier between you and your family?

Would you be willing to give up your computer, TV, or cell phone for an entire day in order to intentionally spend undivided time with your kids? What about all of your little after-work activities... could you cancel them for a week and replace them with trips to the park and things that your children would rather do with you?

-If those questions made you cringe, then you might have just found your answer.

Like I said, maybe I don't have the authority to speak these things into your life, and I know that I will most certainly fail as a parent if I am ever blessed to take on that role. But my hope is not in anyone's improved performance as a parent after reading this blog. My hope is in the only One who can transform us all into the people that He has created for us to be, to answer to our callings with fullness of joy and purpose. After all, aren't we all children in need of our Father?

"Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding." -Proverbs 23:23