Our Christmas Surprise

We have quite the story to tell little Norah about the months and weeks leading up to her delivery- a story of chaos and peace, misfortune and grace.

About three months ago (26 weeks pregnant), we discovered black mold under our floors as a result of water damage. At that point, we were just beginning to gather things for Norah's nursery, but had done very little. We were immediately removed from the house as contractors began to move our things from the kitchen, dining room and living room into the remaining rooms (including the nursery) and tear out what seemed like half of our home. What we thought would be a 5-ish week process turned into months. Needless to say, with my due date of January 10th inching closer and closer, we grew more and more anxious to return home and begin preparations for our baby girl's arrival. 

Throughout these months, one complication arose after another and our date to return home was pushed back further and further. Many loving friends, family members, and church family members loved on us so well during this time and our hearts overflowed as relationships were deepened and our faith was strengthened, which is what God promised trials would bring (James 1:2-4).

Over the past couple of weeks, I've experienced very uncomfortable itching, sometimes to the point of keeping me up at night. I was told that itching is completely normal for pregnancy, especially considering the amount of stress I've had with the house and also with the dry Winter weather, but I decided to do a little research of my own. What I found was that it could potentially be a condition called Cholestasis, which affects every 1 or 2 pregnant women out of 1,000, and usually results in the decision for the pregnancy to be induced early. Last week, I requested blood work to test for this condition.

On Monday during my lunch break, I received a call from my OB. Some test results came back "abnormal" and I needed to come in right away to monitor Norah. No one could provide us with information until she was monitored and their suspicions were confirmed. 

Upon arrival, I was hooked up to monitors that detected Norah's movements, heart rate, and my contractions.

Michael didn't mind this part of the appointment...

 

When my OB returned, she kindly and patiently explained that I do, indeed, have Cholestasis. While this condition currently affects me more than it does Norah, it could eventually be harmful to her and waiting until the 40 week mark is risky. 

We got to see our sweet baby girl sucking her thumb in an ultrasound as they ran more tests. Thankfully, everything showed up totally normal for her and she was right on track for a healthy delivery. We are on the hospital schedule to be induced next Monday, December 21st- 3 weeks shy of her due date. 

We know that we are blessed with such compassionate people in our lives, so if you're wondering what our needs are... 

First of all, our home is still a wreck. BUT, we have amazing friends & family who have offered to help, so we have a few teams of people in place to help us put together her nursery, put the house back in place, and even help us clean before we bring Norah home. We may still need some help in this area (we will know more as the week goes on) and we will definitely reach out if that's the case. 

Secondly, please pray for all of us. For Norah, pray that she continues to be healthy and relaxed, turned head down and in the right position for delivery. For Michael, pray that he is able to juggle all that he is responsible for right now (overall condition of the house, youth ministry, organizing things for next week, etc.) and that he could find strength and peace as he cares for Norah and me in the coming days. 

For  me, please pray for my emotional and mental preparation. I anticipated having several more weeks of pregnancy, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. I also anticipated pregnancy being so difficult and uncomfortable that I would be ready for it to be over, but that hasn't been my experience. It has been such a blessing that I haven't experienced sickness and that I have felt pretty great overall (minus the exhaustion & itching). Belly rubs from friends and strangers alike have been anything but annoying to me & I've loved the intimacy of feeling every movement and hiccup. While I'm eager to meet my girl face to face, I can't quite fathom not being pregnant anymore. Pray that the Lord prepares my heart for this new season that is to come. Prayers for my body are needed as well. The process can tend to be a little more rigorous since we will essentially be forcing my body go into labor before it's ready. Please pray that my body would be cooperative and that the birthing process would be as natural as possible. 

We covet your prayers and are so thankful to know that so many have been praying for us and our sweet girl all along.

Praise God, Who gives way better Christmas gifts than Santa.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

-James 1:17

There's Life Inside

At 17.5 weeks, I can say that I haven't really felt all that pregnant so far. Thankfully, I never had the dreaded morning sickness, only exhaustion from time to time. My belly hasn't grown like I thought it might at this point and I have to keep myself from perusing through pictures of other women who are as far along as I am, whose bellies seem to swell with life. I've barely gained weight, so when my work pants grew uncomfortable and I had to unbutton them, I did the happy dance and showed my co-workers. I lie in bed on my back every night to feel for the slightest movement from inside. I long for more of a connection with this baby that I already love so much. And I want to feel pregnant.

This morning, I finally felt it. After swiping my phone to end the annoying last alarm, I rolled over onto my back to slowly embrace the new morning before arising into it. And then I felt it. It wasn't just a maybe-that-was-just-my-stomach feeling this time. My belly literally shifted and rolled on the outside. My heart stopped and I pressed my hands down onto the dwelling place of this tiny human, invading the little space that he/she has. And there it was again! Another gentle thump, a little foot or elbow or hand or knee bursting out with life, rippling joy throughout the body housing it.

The truth is though, it doesn't matter how pregnant I have felt. Having this experience did not make me "more pregnant." From the moment that the tiny egg in my body (which God had already set apart from the rest to become an image bearer) was fertilized, I began carrying life inside of my body.
My body. This just seems ironically possessive now that another being is living and thriving inside of this body, using its nutrients to  grow. I didn't have to tell my organs to move and make room for this little one; my body naturally did it because it was made for this. Because its Maker and Commander is not me.

I have no stones to throw at any woman who holds to the belief that her body is her own and that she has the right to decide what to do with it. In fact, I have been graciously shielded from stones myself. But I wonder if they know the whole truth? That their bodies aren't really their own.

And I can't help but to be thankful that my Jesus didn't regard His body as His own. He left a perfect union that He had enjoyed from eternity past to come here as an infant growing in the body of a woman just like me. The Giver of Life and the Author of Days put Himself in a position to be dependent upon a young woman's body. From the human perspective, this pregnancy was anything but planned. But it was no surprise to God. By the very nature of His character, He is the Redeemer. This means that even before there was a beginning, this pregnancy was planned by the Almighty. Was it inconvenient to a young betrothed virgin? Absolutely. Her very life was threatened. But through this child, her very soul was saved.

Jesus' whole life was spent serving, giving, and healing. He stood in between the stone-in-hand condemners and the woman who chose to live by the belief that her body was her own and that she could do whatever she wanted with it, no matter who else it affected. Not only did my Jesus pour  His grace all over her, but He showed her another way. (John 8:1-11)

Our souls have all been injected by the same poison with only one hope of cleansing: the complete exchange of our withered, diseased lives for the life of God's perfect, holy Son. To do this, Jesus would have to receive the full cup of God's wrath to the point of death so that there was none left for us to drink. One drop would've killed us all.

But was that really fair? What about Jesus' rights? That was HIS body and He could have done whatever He wanted with it. He was the innocent party here, you know. Why not go enjoy Himself, or at least wait until He was a little older so that He could have had some more life experiences?

Foolishness. This "life experience" is nothing compared to being in the presence of God, and that was an experience Jesus knew quite well. There was nothing that this world could offer that was worth trading for the will of God and the pleasure that comes with pleasing the Father.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

-Hebrews 12:1-2

Maybe there is something more fulfilling than all of the things we have marked down on our bucket lists: career, youth, relationships, travel, etc. Maybe in the whirlwind of all that we think we want, there's something better, more full. We aren't exactly the experts on peace and love and freedom, are we? 

So, when I think about the life growing inside this body of mine, I am reminded of the God-Man who made His temporary home in a body just like this one. The very One to unlock the keys of salvation was just two inches long, then three, then four... arms and feet and brain and nervous system growing at the exact same rate as the tiny body in my own. From the very beginning, He was Savior.

And while it may seem inconvenient at best, this Savior saw your life and mine as precious enough to give up His body for. The product of one body sacrificed? Countless others saved. 

Meet Baby Sal.

We find out if this baby is a he or a she in about 2 weeks. His/her gender is already determined and will be celebrated and affirmed. His/her heartbeat is strong, along with the nervous system. Baby can already see light, even with closed eyes. (It's interesting how one of the very first senses humans are able to use discernment with is light, isn't it?) Baby Sal can hear our voices and can move around in response to the sound of hundreds of worshipers singing on Sunday morning. It's a miracle, really- that I get to be an image-bearer of God, carrying an image-bearer of God. That my body, while it has never truly been my own (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), is now also the body of another. And even before I had the proof of this ultrasound picture, there was life inside.